There is a mirror which creeps around where ever we are. Its a mirror known by another name. Our mind.
This Sunday I had an interesting conversation with my 6 year old about how "what we think" has an impact on how our life turns out to be. One of those parent-child philosophical moments.
The "wordy" message to her was triggered by her own self-doubt. She saw her friend who was relatively new to his swimming lessons showing absolutely no fear of water. And she questioned why she herself was taking so long to get over hers. I am not the type to just say that "its all in the mind". And I'd admit that I have tried everything in my arsenal to help her start loving the deep side of the pool, but I am still waiting for results.
So this time I chose to use the opportunity to explain her the philosophy of thoughts leading to words, words leading to actions, repeated actions leading to habits, and habits defining our lives. Much to my amazement she heard me with full attention.
Seeing her soak in every word of what I had just said, I realised that now I had the onus to walk the talk.
For indeed I know that our thoughts have a profound impact on the way our lives turn out to be. In fact not just our inner thoughts but our feelings and desires have a collective impact on our outer lives in very concrete ways. I have seen its impact on my family, on my own health and in my work life.
At work, dealing with the troublesome colleague through one's own change of perception can often lead to startling results. It may be a big exercise in empathy or compassion or maybe even nonchalance, but the end result is usually a better relationship but definitely a better "you". Try it. It usually works.
One thing where it surely works is in the arena of health. Here minding our mind works like magic. In fact proponents of Reiki say that various ailments of the body reflect various ailments of the mind. Example people who have heart or chest problems are likely to be dealing with issues of love and relationships, those with throat problems likely to be dealing with issues of expressing themselves, etc as per Reiki. But I am not saying because I believe in reiki, but because I have seen the results in my life too.
If the root cause of bodily ailments is the stress that its unable to handle, then the cure is really to de-stress. Just shifting our attention to our breath, like in abdominal breathing in Yoga, helps shift the focus of our mind. An amazingly wonderful way to stop the noisy, clutter of our own thoughts, leading to an almost magical impact on our health. Some of the bigger issues always have such simple answers - don't they!
As for our families, especially our children, they are the quickest to reflect what the mirror of our mind shows to them even when we are oblivious of it ourselves. We as adults are capable of filtering out what does not resonate with us. We use defense mechanisms or other ways of insulating us or even not showing our "true feelings". But with children its different. They remain incapable of this filtering. So they sense our feelings and thoughts, absorb them without being able to filter and project them without again being able to filter. And we see an amplified version of the going-ons of our mind. I know the day I am irritated, I am likely to see a tantrum, if I am worried I am likely to see more bruises, if I am emotionally exhausted I am likely to be in an argument with my kid.
But the day I give my kid full marks for her behaviour, for its been a day of few tantrums and delays, and more of giggles and nice conversations I know the real reason. Its the 'conversation behind the conversation' that needs "full marks". Yesterday turned out to be one such day - as I decided to be mindful of walking the talk.
As far as my preaching to my daughter goes I'm not sure if that will have an impact on her 'love for water', but she is already very mindful of the words she uses. Now all I have to deal with are questions such as - when she is irritated would it be better for her to use "Oh Rats!" instead of "Oh Bother!". Me and my big mouth!! Oops I better mind my words too!
This Sunday I had an interesting conversation with my 6 year old about how "what we think" has an impact on how our life turns out to be. One of those parent-child philosophical moments.
The "wordy" message to her was triggered by her own self-doubt. She saw her friend who was relatively new to his swimming lessons showing absolutely no fear of water. And she questioned why she herself was taking so long to get over hers. I am not the type to just say that "its all in the mind". And I'd admit that I have tried everything in my arsenal to help her start loving the deep side of the pool, but I am still waiting for results.
So this time I chose to use the opportunity to explain her the philosophy of thoughts leading to words, words leading to actions, repeated actions leading to habits, and habits defining our lives. Much to my amazement she heard me with full attention.
Seeing her soak in every word of what I had just said, I realised that now I had the onus to walk the talk.
For indeed I know that our thoughts have a profound impact on the way our lives turn out to be. In fact not just our inner thoughts but our feelings and desires have a collective impact on our outer lives in very concrete ways. I have seen its impact on my family, on my own health and in my work life.
At work, dealing with the troublesome colleague through one's own change of perception can often lead to startling results. It may be a big exercise in empathy or compassion or maybe even nonchalance, but the end result is usually a better relationship but definitely a better "you". Try it. It usually works.
One thing where it surely works is in the arena of health. Here minding our mind works like magic. In fact proponents of Reiki say that various ailments of the body reflect various ailments of the mind. Example people who have heart or chest problems are likely to be dealing with issues of love and relationships, those with throat problems likely to be dealing with issues of expressing themselves, etc as per Reiki. But I am not saying because I believe in reiki, but because I have seen the results in my life too.
If the root cause of bodily ailments is the stress that its unable to handle, then the cure is really to de-stress. Just shifting our attention to our breath, like in abdominal breathing in Yoga, helps shift the focus of our mind. An amazingly wonderful way to stop the noisy, clutter of our own thoughts, leading to an almost magical impact on our health. Some of the bigger issues always have such simple answers - don't they!
As for our families, especially our children, they are the quickest to reflect what the mirror of our mind shows to them even when we are oblivious of it ourselves. We as adults are capable of filtering out what does not resonate with us. We use defense mechanisms or other ways of insulating us or even not showing our "true feelings". But with children its different. They remain incapable of this filtering. So they sense our feelings and thoughts, absorb them without being able to filter and project them without again being able to filter. And we see an amplified version of the going-ons of our mind. I know the day I am irritated, I am likely to see a tantrum, if I am worried I am likely to see more bruises, if I am emotionally exhausted I am likely to be in an argument with my kid.
But the day I give my kid full marks for her behaviour, for its been a day of few tantrums and delays, and more of giggles and nice conversations I know the real reason. Its the 'conversation behind the conversation' that needs "full marks". Yesterday turned out to be one such day - as I decided to be mindful of walking the talk.
As far as my preaching to my daughter goes I'm not sure if that will have an impact on her 'love for water', but she is already very mindful of the words she uses. Now all I have to deal with are questions such as - when she is irritated would it be better for her to use "Oh Rats!" instead of "Oh Bother!". Me and my big mouth!! Oops I better mind my words too!
