Yesterday after many months (many more than I'd like to admit)- I went to a gurudwara. The desire was there for long but action to fulfill the desire was missing. Going there with my six year old, whose visits are even more sporadic than mine, I wanted to explain to her all about sewa in other word altruism, one of the many things that Sikhism values. But what got me thinking was the idea that how many of us actually exhibit pro-social behavior when some one is in real need.
Recently the Ngee Ann Polytechnic students staged a "near abuse" social experiment where a couple (student volunteers) started a quarrel in the busy Orchard street, which got violent. The idea was to see how many chivalrous folks were out there somewhere who'd step in to protect the woman from being physically hurt. The sad part was that only 3 stepped in to intervene and that too only men. Of course one could blame the "Bystander effect", which in experiments done by prominent social psychologists - Darley and Latane, indicated that fewer people are likely to help in the presence of more bystanders.
But the point is - how can we esure that we do not lose an important part of humanity - altruism?
There are five components of altruistic personality that I'd read in social psychology...
First one is that of empathy - or being able to put oneself in others shoes. The ability to empathise is strongly related to having a secure attachment oneself.
Second one is belief that the world is a "just" place - basically bad behaviour will get punished and good behavior will be rewarded.
Third is an internal locus of control - not being at the mercy of changing circumstances, luck, destiny etc.
Fourth is being low on ego centricism - not so self absorbed and competitive.
And lastly but an obvious one is the belief that "helping" is good - we should all do our best to help others.
I am so glad that my parents ensured that I'd go for kar sewa in our local gurudwara. I had no idea that by distributing the parshadas, washing dishes, placing shoes or giving out tokens - mostly fun at that age - I was learning such an important aspect of life. And its mostly when things are fun can we truely truely imbibe them - isnt it!
Towards building a more altruistic generation I still have a dilemna of how can I instill the lovely values in my child and yet ensure she is comfortable in the ever-so-competitive world! Truely a parents conundrum!
Recently the Ngee Ann Polytechnic students staged a "near abuse" social experiment where a couple (student volunteers) started a quarrel in the busy Orchard street, which got violent. The idea was to see how many chivalrous folks were out there somewhere who'd step in to protect the woman from being physically hurt. The sad part was that only 3 stepped in to intervene and that too only men. Of course one could blame the "Bystander effect", which in experiments done by prominent social psychologists - Darley and Latane, indicated that fewer people are likely to help in the presence of more bystanders.
But the point is - how can we esure that we do not lose an important part of humanity - altruism?
There are five components of altruistic personality that I'd read in social psychology...
First one is that of empathy - or being able to put oneself in others shoes. The ability to empathise is strongly related to having a secure attachment oneself.
Second one is belief that the world is a "just" place - basically bad behaviour will get punished and good behavior will be rewarded.
Third is an internal locus of control - not being at the mercy of changing circumstances, luck, destiny etc.
Fourth is being low on ego centricism - not so self absorbed and competitive.
And lastly but an obvious one is the belief that "helping" is good - we should all do our best to help others.
I am so glad that my parents ensured that I'd go for kar sewa in our local gurudwara. I had no idea that by distributing the parshadas, washing dishes, placing shoes or giving out tokens - mostly fun at that age - I was learning such an important aspect of life. And its mostly when things are fun can we truely truely imbibe them - isnt it!
Towards building a more altruistic generation I still have a dilemna of how can I instill the lovely values in my child and yet ensure she is comfortable in the ever-so-competitive world! Truely a parents conundrum!
2 comments:
the fact that you have taken out time to write a blog about humanity and selfless dedication shows the humanity in you. Yes in our daily pursuits of happiness and well being we are so ingrossed by I, me and mine that reaching out to others is not even in our mindspace. Need to consciouly get out of this phase of I and mine to US...
Thanks Mini. Its quite hard to get out of the "I" zone unless we really believe that all of "US" are connected.
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